little monster

long time...

2006-12-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

Wow I cannot believe that its been over a year since our last post! How lazy are we? As you can imagine, much has happened in over a year in the life of our little boy - who has developed into a fully fledged Monster!

We recently spent a few weeks on what was our first family-only holiday, just the three of us in a nice little village in the Algarve. Being slightly out of season, gone were the crowds and packed beaches which allowed the monster and us to fully explore the beaches without the fear of bumping into people.

Below are a few photos from our holiday, I would like to say that it was fully relaxing and recharging but I would be fibbing! It was very hard work looking after the little one 24/7 without the help of family, friends and nursery - although we did enlist the help of random waiters (all trust issues were out of the window by day 4). Nevertheless it was a superb break.

Good luck to Jake and Karen who are/were expecting on December 8th, and who hopefully wont have to wait too long before their lives are totally disrupted! -)

On our first day, just arrived from the airport to the hotel after a very early morning

Although mum and dad were a bit grumpy the monster was fine and couldnt wait to investigate/terrorise. Which he did without delay.....

and soon realised that sand doesnt taste very nice

but still, the music was good..

..and so was the food

not sure about the entertainment...

Happy 10 weeks birthday!!

2005-10-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry it’s been a bit slack on the postings front, but we've been a tad pre-occupied as you might imagine. You may notice that we've changed the name of our blog to 'Little Monster'. This was the prototype name we gave our little boy as we steered our way through the initial weeks of life with our new baby son. Also, you'd be surprised how many people arrived at our site by typing the words "first timer" into a search engine.

To the sum the past 10 weeks up in a phrase, 'roller-coaster' would be it. These were the words that the chap in the labour ward next to us uttered to me as he emerged from the labour suit after 20 hours of blood, sweat, tears (and that was just him!) with a baby girl. We were just entering the ward at the time, and had no idea what to expect. In hindsight, this summed it up perfectly.

The labour was intense. It started around 2am on the morning of Saturday the 13th August. This is possibly the worst time for labour to start as you will generally miss most of a valuable nights sleep. After the waters broke, we called the labour suite and were told to go straight in. To cut a long, and particularly painful story, short - 28 hours, back to back baby, 8lbs 5oz, epidural, theatre-birth, lots of tears, hotel rooms in city hospital, nottingham (the way forward), fabulous support from family later - we emerged with our little son.

Without wanting to use every cliché in the book, it was the most amazing experience I’ve ever been through - and 10 weeks later, I cannot believe how far we have come. Not only for the fact that we are we now sporting a growing baby (13lbs 5oz) who interacts, grins and talks to you like you wouldn’t believe. But we've been through an amazing adventure as a new family. We realised just how many amazing people we know - who have given us great support and kind words. We have been overcome by just how extraordinary our immediate families are - without whom we simply wouldn’t have coped. We discovered that breast-feeding, although fabulous for the baby, without the right support (which doesn’t always come from the midwife) is extremely testing. We learned that our baby loves to wait till their nappy is off before giving you a 'present'. We learned that you need to be disciplined with your baby, even at this young age, in order to establish any sort of "routine" and regain some sort normality. I’ve learned how amazing a mothers love and bond for her child is. We discovered that everybody has an opinion (which is normally different from yours) on how you should raise your child. And I’ve personally learned that interrupted sleep every 2hours can occasionally make you hallucinate.

They say a picture tells a thousand stories, so after a photo shoot in his bouncer, we decided to share these. Here’s to the past 10 weeks:

The first week in the life of Charlie Jorge..

2005-08-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

labour time

less than an hour old

charlie and his mum

proud granparents

first bath

grumpy bath

phone home

Uncle Watski

snoozing with dad at home

unimpressed teddy

our new son. Charlie Jorge

Update!!

2005-07-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

Wow is it really that long since we posted our last blog??

Apologies for the massive time gap between postings, but anyone who can do the maths will realise that there isn’t long left.

So what’s been happening? I think it’s probably going to be quicker to list the things that haven’t been happening. We’ve moved out of the apartment into a ‘family house’, decorated a nursery, deliberated about which prams/pushchairs to buy, and why you cant find one that turns into a pram AND also faces back towards you, went for a 3D detailed scan and had to go back into the scan room about 4 times because he wouldn’t move his hand from his face to get a good video, been on a delightful holiday to Portugal (our last as two people perhaps?), went to our first ante-natal class, been amazed at Firsttimegirls natural inclination to nest… and..

We still haven’t decided on a name

That’s not exactly true. We’ve got a shortlist, but we keep hearing names we like and adding it to it. Which kinda makes it a long list. I think we’ll be ok though

Firsttimegirl is doing really well. She’s eating and drinking all the right things, resting, and has always got a smile on her face – not once have I heard her moan about all the things that she’s going through.

The past week has been a bit tough for her but that’s mainly because he’s moving position, and when you’re ‘all baby’ you feel every kick, twist & punch.

So there you have it, I expect the nature of this blog will change over the next few weeks from being a pregnancy diary to something of a new person diary. Hopefully you’ll continue to come and take a look at what’s happening – we promise it won’t be so long next time!

Paternity Leave

2005-04-21T00:25:00.000-07:00

today I booked off my paternity leave..

Perfect Paris

2005-04-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

"Ze bread iz 4 Euroz pleaz monsiuer"

I didn’t actually ask for bread but much is the limits of my French that our culinary delights in Paris this weekend consisted of "Pain au Chocolate", Croissants and Orange Juice. I knew GCSE French would come in handy someday. If only they had a table tennis table for me to say that I like "playing on" ("je joue" for the French illiterates) then I would have been made. That really is the limits of my French.

I find that you can get a long way in other non-English speaking countries (and in life generally) by muttering, pointing, shrugging and just smiling inanely at people - if nothing else they think your crazy and you usually get what you want quickly without the pointless conversations that it seems French people like to indulge in when they food shop.

So this weekend myself and Firsttimegirl spent three nights in Paris. I love Paris. It was Firstimegirls first visit to the glorious city and I was keen to get her initial impression. I remember my first time in Paris; I was inspired by the culture, the cuisine, the weather, the cosmopolitan feel to every little backroad bar and restaurant. Firsttimegirls first comment consisted of, "everyone looks like they’re out of the Tricolore books!". To those that don’t know, Tricolore is a textbook that accompanied French Lessons in English schools during the late 80's-early-90s! She hit the nail right on the head with that one.

The Tricalore workbook features sections dedicated to different situations you might find yourself in, in France; Shopping, Eating Out, Playing Sport, etc - these sections featured black and white photos of (very badly dressed) French people in that particular situation. The books at our school were probably about 10 years old, and these photos would almost certainly be accompanied by biro scribblings, courtesy of a rebelious 13 year old kid, of extra-ordinarily large penises for the boys and breasts for the lady (not ones to leave out the female the kids at our school!) - although some of the girls in the book did look like boys so it was hard to tell. If you were lucky, then you might get a big biro speech bubble of them telling each other what they wanted to do. For some reason, that wasn’t translated into French.

je joue au tennis de table

Anyway, we had an awesome time and did all of the perennial tourist sights; Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Champs Elysee, Arc de Triumphe, ate some magnificent food, drank some great wine, Firsttimegirl bought a beret, we somehow managed to insult numerous French people, and we then flew home.

So our flight home is at 8:35am French Time, which is 7:35 UK time = getting up frickin early. Firsttimegirl does the normal thing of setting her alarm about 3 hours before she needs to be up so she can press snooze 12,000 times. We now have to check, double and triple check everything before leaving as we've both got an annoying habit of losing and forgetting things. You would have thought that as we were only going for a three night break, that there wouldn’t be a great deal to lose or forget. Think again.

Things we forgot/lost:

- Entire make-up bag
- Wallet with all credit cards
- *My Black jumper
- Address or any contact information of hotel
- 20EURO note (which also happened to double up as money for our taxi to the airport)
- New jumper from Zara on Champs Elysee
- Adapter plug

*Not actually lost. This was left on the chair in the restaurant by Firsttimegirl, on purpose I think. Her plot was foiled after the French waiter ran after us clutching it in his hands.

If the results of your calculations are anything like mine, then you'd have worked out that we averaged two lost/forgotten items per day. Not a great average considering that we will soon be adding a baby to our list of responsibilities. We did however, immediately start work on re-addressing the balance:

Things we borrowed/stole:

- One Hotel Towel for our second toilet at home

- The entire contents of the mini-bar; replacing the spring water with tap water, the box of peanuts with hotel soap (same weight) and the toblerone carefully opened and the emply box simply turned the other way round back into the fridge.

- Two Further (and later, ruined) Hotel Towels to be used as a cushion to stop the dripping tapping noise outside the window. This later turned into a splatting noise so the towels life was taken in vain.

- One Coke Can from the minibar. Although not actually drank, the coke can provided the perfect door-stop for the lift doors, thus preventing the lift (which was conveniently positioned outside our room) from moving up and down the noisy shaft between the hours of 11pm and 9am (our sleeping time). We then had major guilt feelings of little old lady with big suitcase who’s room was on the top floor and immediately removed it, and later drank the coke.

All in all it was a great break, and I'd thoroughly recommend Paris to anyone. If you go and you just happen to be staying in a hotel just off the Champs Elysee in room 525 then I suggest checking your mini-bar, towel stash and remote control batteries (as if we would!) before checking in.

mmmmini bar

Naming and Shaming - ptII

2005-04-01T02:28:00.000-08:00

So after the dust and excitement has settled, one thing has emerged - we had two fantastic little girls names but can we hell as decide on a boys name??

We've got a few months left to decide on something but one thing has become clear; we've got very different opinions on what we should call our boy. We've listened to peoples comments till we're blue in the face, we've read name books from cover-to-cover but we're really struggling with this one. We've created a shortlist and as we're getting regular visitors to the site for a bit of fun we thought we'd throw it open to a poll! - this by no means is difinitive but we'd like your opinion on our names so far - one person, one vote - this is a totally anonymous vote so theres no way of tracking your thoughts - Glenda!

Comments so far:

"Need a good strong name that won't date" - Firsttimeboys mum

"A mans name" - Firsttimegirls dad

"Dont pick a name that is in vogue that is just naming after a trend, name after a stong character like Mark Anthony - assasin of Caeser, or Timothelus - defender of the slaves, or Byron - the pilgrim of eternity" - Firsttimeboys dad (also just so happens to be the names of his sons)

"Alfie is very "now"" - Jake

"Mike, Frank, just normal names" - Firsttimeboys best friend

"I like George, it has a ring to it" - Firsttimegirls uncle

Impatient first-timers!!

2005-03-31T02:36:00.000-08:00

So today was the day. We'd spoken about it for a couple of weeks now - we were dying to get some more information about our unborn, we knew the scan was looming so we were thinking about finding out the sex of our child.

Now we understand there are obviously pros and cons to this. By knowing the sex of your child, you can buy suitable clothes, prams and start concentrating on naming, but on the flipside the element of surprise goes. However both myself and firsttimegirl are both the most impatient people in the world - and we both secretly knew that if we could find something additional out to what we already knew, then we were sure as hell going to do it!

To cut a long story short, my grandma is also recovering from an operation at the same hospital so my mum came along with us before we all went on to visit her. Incidentally, it was the first time that all 4 generations of my family had ever been together (if you can count our unborn as the last generation).

The normal procedure ensued. After thirty visits to the loo (Firsttimegirl takes this 'remember to drink plenty of water' advise as her personal mission to drain the local water supply of all consumable fluids) me, my mother and firsttimegirl entered the scan room.

The nurse starting measuring the baby to ensure there were no abnormalities, she then started to show us parts of the anatomy. The scan never fails to amaze me, and havng my mum there only added to the emotion of the occasion.

After about 10 minutes or so, the subject of the sex hadn’t arisen so after the official measuring stuff I asked the nurse whether we could find this out. After an interrogation of, 'are you sures' she placed the sensor to pick up detail from the baby’s bottom half' and then told us that we were having a little boy. Cue eyes filling up.

To be honest, we really didn’t care what it was going to be. And we can’t honestly say we don’t regret finding out. I’m glad my mum came with us which intensified the emotion (she later admitted that she would have been shocked if it was a girl). We then told firstimegirls parents that evening over dinner which allowed us to then spread the word (It also allowed me to have a weekend of celebration!) At least now we can walk straight by the pinks in the 'Next newborn' section!

detailed scan

This is one of the clearer ones of the set, you can distinctly make out the facial features of the baby.

Half-Time

2005-03-25T07:08:00.000-08:00

So we're now four and a half months into the pregnancy and I suppose now is a good time as any to reflect on the marvelous thing that’s happening to us both. I know a lot of people that are either going through pregnancy or have recently given birth and no matter what people say about the experience, both negative and positive, one thing is constant: it will change your life.

If we're honest, our baby was totally unplanned. It was a shock. Sheer panic was the initial reaction, followed by joy, followed by sadness, anxiety and then joy again. And its been getting better ever since. As two people the experience has brought us closer together like nothing else I can imagine. Going for the scan and seeing the baby was amazing, then a few weeks later we visited the mid-wife and we heard the heart-beat of our baby. I then felt our baby kick for the first time. Every week delivers something new. Firstimegirl looks amazing, she is now even more radiant than ever, and I can honestly say that I’m treasuring every moment of the experience.

Currently I’m reading Human Instinct by Prof. Robert Winston which looks at the reasoning behind why, as human beings, we are driven to do certain things. He debates whether our behavior is part of a genetic blueprint which stems back right from the time the first homa-erectus ventured down from the trees of the Savanna to pitch his wits against the other creatures in the food chain. Or whether our behaviour is something we learn from our environment, taking examples from our own upbringing and from society.

One thing that is magical to watch, is firstimegirls natural instinct to protect her unborn. You could say we were both pretty reckless people when it came to our health. Lots of drink, the odd cigarette, late nights - less than ideal diet. Typical mid-twenties socialites. We really thought we'd miss that when we discovered we were pregnant. I can be honest, we haven’t missed it at all. firsttimegirls dedication to eat and drink the right things, have a good nights sleep - stay out of smokey pubs and exercise has been incredible. Nobody has forced her to do these things and I never hear a negative word from her about what she is going through.

I don’t really know what I’m getting at here, and I expect a lot of people reading this are thinking so what? but this is nature happening right before our very eyes. The one thing that remains the same throughout the generations, is the desire to reproduce and protect our families. In fact, everything we do is centered around one of two principals; reproduction and survival. I often wonder whether the instincts we have inherited actually equip us well or inhibit us for modern life? Whether as human beings, our programming is actually sufficient to cope with the continuing pressure for both parents to work and disappearance of social communities.

Me and my mum were talking the other day. We were talking about why babies are born with big eyes - she's of the opinion that its natures design to make them look cute and ensure that the doting parents continue to dote. I was fascinated with this ‘baby trapping’ and found out that apparently the baby has a number of different mechanisms for ensuring the father sticks around to protect and provide for his family. Powerful instincts step in and drive the newborn to persuade its parents feed it, clothe it and keep an eye out for marauding beasts and wicked uncles. As it turns out, our physically helpless bundles of joy have a highly sophisticated system of alarms, signs and smells and other tricks that ensure that the baby is cared for.

All food for thought I suppose. I’ll leave the final muse to Dr Winston himself: ‘A baby, when it comes down to it, is a little bundle of unconscious self-interest, and the techniques of emotional manipulation it uses to make parents go all gooey with love, in spite of all the energy and time they have devoted to it, have been honed and refined over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.’

Photo Evidence

2005-03-19T02:22:00.000-08:00

I friend recommended this book to me. Its a book of photos by a Swedish photographer called Lennart Nilsson. Its supposed to be incredible. Apparently he pioneered a technique using an endoscope to photograph pictures of the unborn fetus with some amazing results. I've ordered the book, but I managed to find a few pictures on the web in the interim.

Kicks in the Sun

2005-03-17T01:35:00.000-08:00

So we've just come back from a few days sunning it up in Dubai - well, firsttimegirl has whilst I was hard at work in 34degree temperatures. We had a good couple of days and overall it was nice to get a bit of heat in the cold bones.

For me, the highlight was that for the first time I actually felt the baby! This is something that Firsttimegirl has been feeling for quite some time so its quite normal for her - (in fact, she gets nervous if she doesn't feel our baby moving). In normal circumstances, the baby kicks randomly - usually when Im not there. I know this because (usually when Im in the shower, just after I've put shampoo in my hair) I hear a loud shout to tell me the baby's kicking. I then get out, race over, (eyes burning) to place my hand on her stomach only to realise that its stopped kicking. Either she's lying, or our baby's playing games with me. Probably both - already the mother-baby bond has formed so much that they're already ganging up against me.

Anyway we tried a different tact on this occasion. This meant us both sitting there watching tv with my hand placed on her stomach. 5 minutes went by, nothing. 10 minutes, nothing. Then there it was - not once but three times! Felt like a few small jabs - Mike Tyson style. We both looked at each other and that was it. Pregnancy never fails to amaze you.

Fetus Feels No Pain

2005-03-10T01:26:00.000-08:00

"Fetus Feels No Pain Sunday, February 20, 2005 @ 11:03 am - Valerie E.New research shows that a fetus cannot hear or feel anything in the womb. While doctors once suggested playing music as a way of connecting with your unborn child, New Zealand researchers are saying this is not possible - the baby is kept in a deep sleep through a combination of natural sedatives and anaesthetics secreted by the placenta and brain. They hear nothing and feel no pain."

So my attempts at trying to start my unborn early with Motorhead's 'Ace of Spades' full blast on repeat has no effect then???

Its just as well it cant feel any pain either then.

sorry fellas

Naming and Shaming

2005-03-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

"its got to be something that no-one can even begin to make a funny name out of", I explained to firsttimegirl in our daily debate about what name we're going to give our unborn.

My point was that we need to find a name that is unique, yet not unique enough that our child will be a source of amusement in the playground during its formative years. Kids can be evil. Luckily, I was blessed with a name that you cant really make a great deal out of - given that even the most imaginative (which turn out to be the most evil) kids can make something out of nothing. I remember we had a kid in our class whos surname was coupe (cow-p (you know whats coming)), sniggers when the register was read out was the norm for this poor boy. This along with chants of "cowpat" in the playground.

I dont know how the new generation of kids who bear the brunt of their mums new-age, hippy-like expressions cope in the playground. I mean, as lovely names as they are; apple, sky & flower would not have lasted 2minutes at my school. But perhaps times have changed? Id love to be corrected and be allowed to embrace this new plethora of names but Im not entirely convinced.

A good friend of ours is a teacher, and she has a "tequila" in her class. You're just asking for trouble with that one. In my research for this post I came across a British man who gave his daughter the name "21a" and an asian couple that wanted to bring their son, "phuk" into an english school. Apparently "Ikea" was one of the most popular names in 2004!!

Personally, I dont think you can go far wrong with George, Stan, Frank and Fred. Good old fashioned one-syllable names. Names that won wars, lifted trophies and made girls cry. Come to think of it, thats probably what is going wrong with England's football team, they've got the names all wrong - with names like Darius, Ashley, Rio, Ledley & Kieron we're not exaclty striking fear into the hearts of the opposition!

The Beckhams are not the first celebrity couple to choose fanciful names for their kids. They're unlikely to be the last, either. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates were right out there when they named their daughters Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie. But they had nothing on David and Angela Bowie, who named their son Zowie, or Frank and Gail Zappa, who had a boy called Dweezil and a girl called Moon Unit.

Celebrity brats with odd parents have the luxury of their parents' vast incomes to shield them from problems their strange names might cause them. Ordinary kids with weird names have no such protection. Life is tough enough as it is, so in my opinion what's wrong with giving your child a name that doesn't prompt a double-take or a bunch of fives every time it's uttered? What's wrong with a name that reflects family traditions or honours a loved one? We all want to be individual and we all want our children to be individual. But individuality is more about who you are than what your parents wanted to say when they filled in your birth certificate. So, Cruz, Apple, Chastity, Indiana, August, Beckett, Chardonnay and all the rest of you (especially little Ikea), here's hoping you all turn out just fine. Your parents obviously love you to bits, even if they are just big show-offs. Remember, if the going gets too tough when you grow up, you can always change your name to Nigel or Mary. They'll be all the rage again in a few years!!

please dont call me apple....

Baby-Queen

2005-02-27T09:13:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me this today - you'll need sound to fully appreciate!

Midwife Crisis pt II - Midwife Strikes Back

2005-02-26T00:33:00.000-08:00

So the news this week is that we've had our SECOND mid-wife appointment. Mixed feelings really. As you may recall, last time we visited the mid-wife it turns out that not only did firstimegirl need to have a needle stuck into her arm and blood taken - but I needed to as well. This was to help find a potential blood disorder assosiated with people from a mixed race, thalassaemia. I can only say, my pain was in vain.

Im not a big fan of needles (who is?) so I didnt see the funny side when the midwife, whilst sniggering, explained that I neednt have had the test after all as firsttimegirls tests proved negative. Meaning that even if my tests had been returned positive for thalassemia then it wouldnt have mattered anyway. Raising my head for support I then discovered them both wetting themselves laughing.

So firsttimegirl goes through the numerous questions that needs to be answered at these sessions, urine samples, blood pressure etc. yawn yawn... and then out of nowhere the midwife asks if we want to hear the baby - she's going to listen for a heartbeat!

Out comes a listening device with a sort of speaker/amplifier thing attached to it. 15 minutes later after only hearing the sounds of firsttimegirl wetting herself laughing (...again!) we managed to pick up a little hearbeat. magical. We didnt want it to end.. What a great little device. I want one!! So I did as all people would do in this situation; I looked on ebay. and to my astonishment, they're actually selling them! Theyre called a 'portable ultra-sound doppler' and you can pick one up for £60.

I was intrigued to see what else are they're selling on there so typed in the words, 'baby' and 'scan'.

Theres only someone on there selling their scan photos

What on earth would someone want to buy someone elses scan for?!! Aparently its a photo at 20 weeks and, "it looks like a baby driving a car" Need I say more? There wasnt a photo on the site, but can only imagine it looks something like this:

"if you squint your eyes you can see the steering wheel of a car"

Daddy-Cool

2005-02-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

“…then of course come the Bratz dolls and Mcfly cds…”

My work colleague growled to me as he recalled the amount of money he’s spent on his kids throughout the years. ‘Bratz’ dolls are apparently the new Barbie and Mcfly (although I’ve seen them briefly on top of the pops for about 5seconds before instantly switching ‘that nonsense’ over) are the new Busted who were the new Take That? Im not sure they were the new Take That but I wanted to get to safety ground before I realize that I’m more than 3 artists removed from a band I can recognize a tune of.

I’m sure that most people go through this thought process when approaching the birth of their first child, but it kinda got me thinking about the kind of world that we’re going to be bringing our child into. And just as importantly - whether I should position myself as a ‘cool-dad’. Sure, I’ll still have youth on my side but already I’ve started to grumble at all the needless gadgets that come with a mobile phone and firing off at anyone who even dares to call me 'm8' in a text or email.

And then I started thinking about what sort of things my child will take for granted, for example; they will not know of a world without the internet, mobile phones or ipods. He or she will never be a more than a mile away from a McDonalds. And whereas I was learning about World War II, Winston Churchill and Harold Wilson in my History lessons, my child will be learning about the Miners Stike, attacks on the Twin-Towers & Margaret Thatcher. This is history I’ve lived through.

But from now on it’s the new me (or the old me?) - I’m ready to start embracing this new wave of technology and music in preparation of being ‘cool-dad’ -although I’m not sure about the combat trousers just yet. I’ve already ordered my copy of the Busted album from Amazon and plan to upgrade my mobile phone at the weekend. So I’ll be in with the ‘in-crowd’ before you know it. Don’t be a square m8.

take that to busted in 3 moves

Scan-Tastic!!

2005-02-08T00:30:00.001-08:00

Today we saw our baby.

Pregnancy is full of cliches that make you squirm when youre an outsider looking in. Right from the moment that the luvvy-duvvy-happy couple first announce that "we're" pregnant. Or their non-commital answers to all of your questions that normally precede with a loving glance at each other, then down to the glowing bump. "We're not bothered what it is as long as its healthy" etc, etc. Pass me the bucket.

I always thought that I would have a different approach to pregnancy. Something of an honest dad-to-be. None of this, "as long as its healthy nonsense" more like, "as long as its a boy". And in all fairness, thats how it started. That was until today. Today was the day of our scan.

Firsttimegirl was feeling a bit anxious about today, I on the other hand with my cavalier, no-no-nonsense approach to pregnancy was more curious/excited than anything. "What can go wrong? Everything will be fine" etc, etc. I knew it was important to see whether our babys vital organs were intact, and indeed whether there are limbs where limbs are supposed to be. Short of that, I didnt see what all the fuss about.

So we entered the maternity ward of the hospital and after seeing the receptionist, we sat down in the waiting room surrounded by women with bumps, and their partners with one arm around them and the other hand on the bump. Both parents-to-be with cheshire cat stlye grins from ear to ear. Oh dear.

To cut a long story short; we were called in, sat down, sign this, whatever, do that, move over there, heres some cold jelly on the belly, this might be cold, oh my god its cold, look at the screen.

And there was my child.

Not only was this my child but from what I could see; it was only yawning and doing somersaults!

I was reduced to a mumbling reck, I couldnt muster the simplest of sentences. I cried. It was simply the most emotional experience I've ever had. (although theres more to come so Im told). So todays experience raised the stakes. Now we have something visible to work towards, and im sorry to say - when someone asked if we knew what sex the baby was, we glanced across at each other, I placed one arm around her, the other on her stomach and uttered the immortal words, "we're not bothered, as long as its healthy..."

boys will be boys

Queasy Queeny

2005-01-16T14:03:00.000-08:00

The morning was crisp, the sky was blue, the firsttimers were happily pottering around the house washing the dishes and generally doing bugger all. All was good in the world. Among the quiet contentment you could almost forget that you have something special inside you growing. And that a battle is happening in your body - that this 'something special' is in constant competition with your own body for valuable nutrients.

But this little person can at any time kick up a fuss if its not getting its way.

Imagine our concern when firsttimegirl suddenly felt dizzy and needed to sit down. She then started to go very pale. I turned to get her a drink only to turn back to find the chair she was sitting in was vacant. Then fear struck me. She was in the toilet (that's the bathroom to any American readers). This represented an ultimate test. Of course Im concerned. And of course I'll knock to see whether she's ok. But should I go in?

I can handle blood, guts, cuts and bruises, fairground rides, the scariest of gorey movies not to mention some pretty nauseas sky dives and bungee jumps. But seeing someone be sick is a definite no-no. It tends to cause a chain reaction as far as my stomach is concerned. It conjures up memories of being back at school; on a trip to the Lake District. 15 schoolkids, post big english-breakfast, mini-bus, lots of hills, splat, domino effect. you get the picture.

Pathetically I knocked on the door and asked if she was ok: no reply.

Now me and firsttimegirl have both had some pretty heavy nights out, drunk so much that we cannot talk or walk. We also eaten some pretty dodgy early morning "food". But neither of us have ever had to encounter the sick-thing. Until now.

Thoughts raced through my head; what if she's collapsed? what if she has flushed herself down the toilet? but what if she's being sick that much that she cant speak...... Cmon man, you've got to get used to it, pull yourself together. You're having a baby. Pregnancy is a sharing experience. Its partly your responsibility and you should work through this together.

So I entered the toilet. It was worse than I could've imagined. Not only was she being sick, but she was also sat on the toilet - holding her hands over her mouth. So I left the glass of water on the floor and ran off.

gimme some skin

2005-01-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Its amazing the sorts of things you learn about yourself when you're pregnant - for example, I found out that twins runs in our family - and also because one of my relatives is Chinese then that makes me susceptible to thalassaemia which is a blood disorder that affects asians. Imagine my supportive dad-to-be smug smile turn to horror when I found out I had to have a blood test for this. They say that pregnancy is a sharing experience, and is based around giving and receiving, I didn't realise that this meant me giving my blood and receiving pain in return. There was nothing in the brochure about this.

Which brings me onto another point. Throughout my life whenever I've had to complete forms of any importance I always felt I needed to complete any references to race as white/caucasian. I since found out that Im officially in the 'other' category (yes the category normally reserved for confused drunks and aliens) - again because of my Chinese grandma.

Talking of which, I plan to tell the Chinese one today that she is going to be a great grandma. Being of Chinese origin, she is generally over supportive (although my mums stories of her letting me fall off the sofa onto my head contradicts this) so hopefully it will go ok. Watch this space.

Anyway, onto our pregnancy and from looking at our nice new pack for pregnant people (which will probably be used to scribble phone numbers on in a few weeks time but for now is very interesting and informative) apparently arms and legs growth was the big news for our baby last week - this week means that 'skin is in' and now a special layer has developed into what will become fingers and toenails - clever stuff.

Midwife crisis

2005-01-13T05:56:00.000-08:00

Today we have been for our first mid-wife appointment. Being a first-time pregnant couple we did not know what to expect in the slightest - and it really hit home for the first time that we're actually bringing a child into this world!! (and to think we're going to be raising the next generation of politicians and scientists!!)

Anyway, the session went really well and we left with a big pack full of leaflets containing dos and donts. We were thinking afterwards that there seems to be a lot of 'guidelines' to what you can and cant do, particularly around food. Which kind of makes you think; how did generations-gone-by cope when this information wasnt so readily available? Sometimes I think you can be too cautious about these things. We understand the obvious risks associated with smoking and drinking during pregnancy but I mean, eating an apple from a supermarket which has been placed there by a shop assistant whose mother had a bag of cashews in 1995 is hardly going to make our child boz-eyed and talk with a lisp is it? Theyre tough little boggers - even at 12 weeks.

btw - the reason I've used a blue template is because Im convinced its going to be a boy!