Impatient first-timers!!

So today was the day. We'd spoken about it for a couple of weeks now - we were dying to get some more information about our unborn, we knew the scan was looming so we were thinking about finding out the sex of our child.

Now we understand there are obviously pros and cons to this. By knowing the sex of your child, you can buy suitable clothes, prams and start concentrating on naming, but on the flipside the element of surprise goes. However both myself and firsttimegirl are both the most impatient people in the world - and we both secretly knew that if we could find something additional out to what we already knew, then we were sure as hell going to do it!

To cut a long story short, my grandma is also recovering from an operation at the same hospital so my mum came along with us before we all went on to visit her. Incidentally, it was the first time that all 4 generations of my family had ever been together (if you can count our unborn as the last generation).

The normal procedure ensued. After thirty visits to the loo (Firsttimegirl takes this 'remember to drink plenty of water' advise as her personal mission to drain the local water supply of all consumable fluids) me, my mother and firsttimegirl entered the scan room.

The nurse starting measuring the baby to ensure there were no abnormalities, she then started to show us parts of the anatomy. The scan never fails to amaze me, and havng my mum there only added to the emotion of the occasion.

After about 10 minutes or so, the subject of the sex hadn’t arisen so after the official measuring stuff I asked the nurse whether we could find this out. After an interrogation of, 'are you sures' she placed the sensor to pick up detail from the baby’s bottom half' and then told us that we were having a little boy. Cue eyes filling up.

To be honest, we really didn’t care what it was going to be. And we can’t honestly say we don’t regret finding out. I’m glad my mum came with us which intensified the emotion (she later admitted that she would have been shocked if it was a girl). We then told firstimegirls parents that evening over dinner which allowed us to then spread the word (It also allowed me to have a weekend of celebration!) At least now we can walk straight by the pinks in the 'Next newborn' section!

detailed scan

This is one of the clearer ones of the set, you can distinctly make out the facial features of the baby.

Half-Time

So we're now four and a half months into the pregnancy and I suppose now is a good time as any to reflect on the marvelous thing that’s happening to us both. I know a lot of people that are either going through pregnancy or have recently given birth and no matter what people say about the experience, both negative and positive, one thing is constant: it will change your life.

If we're honest, our baby was totally unplanned. It was a shock. Sheer panic was the initial reaction, followed by joy, followed by sadness, anxiety and then joy again. And its been getting better ever since. As two people the experience has brought us closer together like nothing else I can imagine. Going for the scan and seeing the baby was amazing, then a few weeks later we visited the mid-wife and we heard the heart-beat of our baby. I then felt our baby kick for the first time. Every week delivers something new. Firstimegirl looks amazing, she is now even more radiant than ever, and I can honestly say that I’m treasuring every moment of the experience.

Currently I’m reading Human Instinct by Prof. Robert Winston which looks at the reasoning behind why, as human beings, we are driven to do certain things. He debates whether our behavior is part of a genetic blueprint which stems back right from the time the first homa-erectus ventured down from the trees of the Savanna to pitch his wits against the other creatures in the food chain. Or whether our behaviour is something we learn from our environment, taking examples from our own upbringing and from society.

One thing that is magical to watch, is firstimegirls natural instinct to protect her unborn. You could say we were both pretty reckless people when it came to our health. Lots of drink, the odd cigarette, late nights - less than ideal diet. Typical mid-twenties socialites. We really thought we'd miss that when we discovered we were pregnant. I can be honest, we haven’t missed it at all. firsttimegirls dedication to eat and drink the right things, have a good nights sleep - stay out of smokey pubs and exercise has been incredible. Nobody has forced her to do these things and I never hear a negative word from her about what she is going through.

I don’t really know what I’m getting at here, and I expect a lot of people reading this are thinking so what? but this is nature happening right before our very eyes. The one thing that remains the same throughout the generations, is the desire to reproduce and protect our families. In fact, everything we do is centered around one of two principals; reproduction and survival. I often wonder whether the instincts we have inherited actually equip us well or inhibit us for modern life? Whether as human beings, our programming is actually sufficient to cope with the continuing pressure for both parents to work and disappearance of social communities.

Me and my mum were talking the other day. We were talking about why babies are born with big eyes - she's of the opinion that its natures design to make them look cute and ensure that the doting parents continue to dote. I was fascinated with this ‘baby trapping’ and found out that apparently the baby has a number of different mechanisms for ensuring the father sticks around to protect and provide for his family. Powerful instincts step in and drive the newborn to persuade its parents feed it, clothe it and keep an eye out for marauding beasts and wicked uncles. As it turns out, our physically helpless bundles of joy have a highly sophisticated system of alarms, signs and smells and other tricks that ensure that the baby is cared for.

All food for thought I suppose. I’ll leave the final muse to Dr Winston himself: ‘A baby, when it comes down to it, is a little bundle of unconscious self-interest, and the techniques of emotional manipulation it uses to make parents go all gooey with love, in spite of all the energy and time they have devoted to it, have been honed and refined over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.’

Photo Evidence

I friend recommended this book to me. Its a book of photos by a Swedish photographer called Lennart Nilsson. Its supposed to be incredible. Apparently he pioneered a technique using an endoscope to photograph pictures of the unborn fetus with some amazing results. I've ordered the book, but I managed to find a few pictures on the web in the interim.

Kicks in the Sun

So we've just come back from a few days sunning it up in Dubai - well, firsttimegirl has whilst I was hard at work in 34degree temperatures. We had a good couple of days and overall it was nice to get a bit of heat in the cold bones.

For me, the highlight was that for the first time I actually felt the baby! This is something that Firsttimegirl has been feeling for quite some time so its quite normal for her - (in fact, she gets nervous if she doesn't feel our baby moving). In normal circumstances, the baby kicks randomly - usually when Im not there. I know this because (usually when Im in the shower, just after I've put shampoo in my hair) I hear a loud shout to tell me the baby's kicking. I then get out, race over, (eyes burning) to place my hand on her stomach only to realise that its stopped kicking. Either she's lying, or our baby's playing games with me. Probably both - already the mother-baby bond has formed so much that they're already ganging up against me.

Anyway we tried a different tact on this occasion. This meant us both sitting there watching tv with my hand placed on her stomach. 5 minutes went by, nothing. 10 minutes, nothing. Then there it was - not once but three times! Felt like a few small jabs - Mike Tyson style. We both looked at each other and that was it. Pregnancy never fails to amaze you.

Fetus Feels No Pain

"Fetus Feels No Pain Sunday, February 20, 2005 @ 11:03 am - Valerie E.New research shows that a fetus cannot hear or feel anything in the womb. While doctors once suggested playing music as a way of connecting with your unborn child, New Zealand researchers are saying this is not possible - the baby is kept in a deep sleep through a combination of natural sedatives and anaesthetics secreted by the placenta and brain. They hear nothing and feel no pain."

So my attempts at trying to start my unborn early with Motorhead's 'Ace of Spades' full blast on repeat has no effect then???

Its just as well it cant feel any pain either then.

sorry fellas

Naming and Shaming

"its got to be something that no-one can even begin to make a funny name out of", I explained to firsttimegirl in our daily debate about what name we're going to give our unborn.

My point was that we need to find a name that is unique, yet not unique enough that our child will be a source of amusement in the playground during its formative years. Kids can be evil. Luckily, I was blessed with a name that you cant really make a great deal out of - given that even the most imaginative (which turn out to be the most evil) kids can make something out of nothing. I remember we had a kid in our class whos surname was coupe (cow-p (you know whats coming)), sniggers when the register was read out was the norm for this poor boy. This along with chants of "cowpat" in the playground.

I dont know how the new generation of kids who bear the brunt of their mums new-age, hippy-like expressions cope in the playground. I mean, as lovely names as they are; apple, sky & flower would not have lasted 2minutes at my school. But perhaps times have changed? Id love to be corrected and be allowed to embrace this new plethora of names but Im not entirely convinced.

A good friend of ours is a teacher, and she has a "tequila" in her class. You're just asking for trouble with that one. In my research for this post I came across a British man who gave his daughter the name "21a" and an asian couple that wanted to bring their son, "phuk" into an english school. Apparently "Ikea" was one of the most popular names in 2004!!

Personally, I dont think you can go far wrong with George, Stan, Frank and Fred. Good old fashioned one-syllable names. Names that won wars, lifted trophies and made girls cry. Come to think of it, thats probably what is going wrong with England's football team, they've got the names all wrong - with names like Darius, Ashley, Rio, Ledley & Kieron we're not exaclty striking fear into the hearts of the opposition!

The Beckhams are not the first celebrity couple to choose fanciful names for their kids. They're unlikely to be the last, either. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates were right out there when they named their daughters Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie. But they had nothing on David and Angela Bowie, who named their son Zowie, or Frank and Gail Zappa, who had a boy called Dweezil and a girl called Moon Unit.

Celebrity brats with odd parents have the luxury of their parents' vast incomes to shield them from problems their strange names might cause them. Ordinary kids with weird names have no such protection. Life is tough enough as it is, so in my opinion what's wrong with giving your child a name that doesn't prompt a double-take or a bunch of fives every time it's uttered? What's wrong with a name that reflects family traditions or honours a loved one? We all want to be individual and we all want our children to be individual. But individuality is more about who you are than what your parents wanted to say when they filled in your birth certificate. So, Cruz, Apple, Chastity, Indiana, August, Beckett, Chardonnay and all the rest of you (especially little Ikea), here's hoping you all turn out just fine. Your parents obviously love you to bits, even if they are just big show-offs. Remember, if the going gets too tough when you grow up, you can always change your name to Nigel or Mary. They'll be all the rage again in a few years!!

please dont call me apple....