Half-Time

So we're now four and a half months into the pregnancy and I suppose now is a good time as any to reflect on the marvelous thing that’s happening to us both. I know a lot of people that are either going through pregnancy or have recently given birth and no matter what people say about the experience, both negative and positive, one thing is constant: it will change your life.

If we're honest, our baby was totally unplanned. It was a shock. Sheer panic was the initial reaction, followed by joy, followed by sadness, anxiety and then joy again. And its been getting better ever since. As two people the experience has brought us closer together like nothing else I can imagine. Going for the scan and seeing the baby was amazing, then a few weeks later we visited the mid-wife and we heard the heart-beat of our baby. I then felt our baby kick for the first time. Every week delivers something new. Firstimegirl looks amazing, she is now even more radiant than ever, and I can honestly say that I’m treasuring every moment of the experience.

Currently I’m reading Human Instinct by Prof. Robert Winston which looks at the reasoning behind why, as human beings, we are driven to do certain things. He debates whether our behavior is part of a genetic blueprint which stems back right from the time the first homa-erectus ventured down from the trees of the Savanna to pitch his wits against the other creatures in the food chain. Or whether our behaviour is something we learn from our environment, taking examples from our own upbringing and from society.

One thing that is magical to watch, is firstimegirls natural instinct to protect her unborn. You could say we were both pretty reckless people when it came to our health. Lots of drink, the odd cigarette, late nights - less than ideal diet. Typical mid-twenties socialites. We really thought we'd miss that when we discovered we were pregnant. I can be honest, we haven’t missed it at all. firsttimegirls dedication to eat and drink the right things, have a good nights sleep - stay out of smokey pubs and exercise has been incredible. Nobody has forced her to do these things and I never hear a negative word from her about what she is going through.

I don’t really know what I’m getting at here, and I expect a lot of people reading this are thinking so what? but this is nature happening right before our very eyes. The one thing that remains the same throughout the generations, is the desire to reproduce and protect our families. In fact, everything we do is centered around one of two principals; reproduction and survival. I often wonder whether the instincts we have inherited actually equip us well or inhibit us for modern life? Whether as human beings, our programming is actually sufficient to cope with the continuing pressure for both parents to work and disappearance of social communities.

Me and my mum were talking the other day. We were talking about why babies are born with big eyes - she's of the opinion that its natures design to make them look cute and ensure that the doting parents continue to dote. I was fascinated with this ‘baby trapping’ and found out that apparently the baby has a number of different mechanisms for ensuring the father sticks around to protect and provide for his family. Powerful instincts step in and drive the newborn to persuade its parents feed it, clothe it and keep an eye out for marauding beasts and wicked uncles. As it turns out, our physically helpless bundles of joy have a highly sophisticated system of alarms, signs and smells and other tricks that ensure that the baby is cared for.

All food for thought I suppose. I’ll leave the final muse to Dr Winston himself: ‘A baby, when it comes down to it, is a little bundle of unconscious self-interest, and the techniques of emotional manipulation it uses to make parents go all gooey with love, in spite of all the energy and time they have devoted to it, have been honed and refined over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.’