Naming and Shaming
"its got to be something that no-one can even begin to make a funny name out of", I explained to firsttimegirl in our daily debate about what name we're going to give our unborn.
My point was that we need to find a name that is unique, yet not unique enough that our child will be a source of amusement in the playground during its formative years. Kids can be evil. Luckily, I was blessed with a name that you cant really make a great deal out of - given that even the most imaginative (which turn out to be the most evil) kids can make something out of nothing. I remember we had a kid in our class whos surname was coupe (cow-p (you know whats coming)), sniggers when the register was read out was the norm for this poor boy. This along with chants of "cowpat" in the playground.
I dont know how the new generation of kids who bear the brunt of their mums new-age, hippy-like expressions cope in the playground. I mean, as lovely names as they are; apple, sky & flower would not have lasted 2minutes at my school. But perhaps times have changed? Id love to be corrected and be allowed to embrace this new plethora of names but Im not entirely convinced.
A good friend of ours is a teacher, and she has a "tequila" in her class. You're just asking for trouble with that one. In my research for this post I came across a British man who gave his daughter the name "21a" and an asian couple that wanted to bring their son, "phuk" into an english school. Apparently "Ikea" was one of the most popular names in 2004!!
Personally, I dont think you can go far wrong with George, Stan, Frank and Fred. Good old fashioned one-syllable names. Names that won wars, lifted trophies and made girls cry. Come to think of it, thats probably what is going wrong with England's football team, they've got the names all wrong - with names like Darius, Ashley, Rio, Ledley & Kieron we're not exaclty striking fear into the hearts of the opposition!
The Beckhams are not the first celebrity couple to choose fanciful names for their kids. They're unlikely to be the last, either. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates were right out there when they named their daughters Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie. But they had nothing on David and Angela Bowie, who named their son Zowie, or Frank and Gail Zappa, who had a boy called Dweezil and a girl called Moon Unit.
Celebrity brats with odd parents have the luxury of their parents' vast incomes to shield them from problems their strange names might cause them. Ordinary kids with weird names have no such protection. Life is tough enough as it is, so in my opinion what's wrong with giving your child a name that doesn't prompt a double-take or a bunch of fives every time it's uttered? What's wrong with a name that reflects family traditions or honours a loved one? We all want to be individual and we all want our children to be individual. But individuality is more about who you are than what your parents wanted to say when they filled in your birth certificate. So, Cruz, Apple, Chastity, Indiana, August, Beckett, Chardonnay and all the rest of you (especially little Ikea), here's hoping you all turn out just fine. Your parents obviously love you to bits, even if they are just big show-offs. Remember, if the going gets too tough when you grow up, you can always change your name to Nigel or Mary. They'll be all the rage again in a few years!!
My point was that we need to find a name that is unique, yet not unique enough that our child will be a source of amusement in the playground during its formative years. Kids can be evil. Luckily, I was blessed with a name that you cant really make a great deal out of - given that even the most imaginative (which turn out to be the most evil) kids can make something out of nothing. I remember we had a kid in our class whos surname was coupe (cow-p (you know whats coming)), sniggers when the register was read out was the norm for this poor boy. This along with chants of "cowpat" in the playground.
I dont know how the new generation of kids who bear the brunt of their mums new-age, hippy-like expressions cope in the playground. I mean, as lovely names as they are; apple, sky & flower would not have lasted 2minutes at my school. But perhaps times have changed? Id love to be corrected and be allowed to embrace this new plethora of names but Im not entirely convinced.
A good friend of ours is a teacher, and she has a "tequila" in her class. You're just asking for trouble with that one. In my research for this post I came across a British man who gave his daughter the name "21a" and an asian couple that wanted to bring their son, "phuk" into an english school. Apparently "Ikea" was one of the most popular names in 2004!!
Personally, I dont think you can go far wrong with George, Stan, Frank and Fred. Good old fashioned one-syllable names. Names that won wars, lifted trophies and made girls cry. Come to think of it, thats probably what is going wrong with England's football team, they've got the names all wrong - with names like Darius, Ashley, Rio, Ledley & Kieron we're not exaclty striking fear into the hearts of the opposition!
The Beckhams are not the first celebrity couple to choose fanciful names for their kids. They're unlikely to be the last, either. Bob Geldof and Paula Yates were right out there when they named their daughters Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie. But they had nothing on David and Angela Bowie, who named their son Zowie, or Frank and Gail Zappa, who had a boy called Dweezil and a girl called Moon Unit.
Celebrity brats with odd parents have the luxury of their parents' vast incomes to shield them from problems their strange names might cause them. Ordinary kids with weird names have no such protection. Life is tough enough as it is, so in my opinion what's wrong with giving your child a name that doesn't prompt a double-take or a bunch of fives every time it's uttered? What's wrong with a name that reflects family traditions or honours a loved one? We all want to be individual and we all want our children to be individual. But individuality is more about who you are than what your parents wanted to say when they filled in your birth certificate. So, Cruz, Apple, Chastity, Indiana, August, Beckett, Chardonnay and all the rest of you (especially little Ikea), here's hoping you all turn out just fine. Your parents obviously love you to bits, even if they are just big show-offs. Remember, if the going gets too tough when you grow up, you can always change your name to Nigel or Mary. They'll be all the rage again in a few years!!
posted by firsttimers @ 2:51 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:17 AM,
Lou Lou said…
Naming a baby is possibly the most responsible job you have as a parent, to begin with anyway!
We hought long and hard and until the birth we still had nothing definate. Then she popped out and within minute I had decided. Princess obviously isn't her real name, but her name suits her well. Even though it has 4 letters, we've still had it shortened! It's cute. She loves it. Still she won't get her ass kicked for it!
Choose well, choose wisely, always always remember the kid has to live with it....not you!
Good luck and thanks for stopping by my blog!
At 12:50 AM,
Mick said…
Visit this very funny site;
http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
..to see how stupid some parents can be when trying to be clever.
Also a tip, if you pick a common name and then spell it in an uncommon way you are condemning the child to a lifetime of correcting people.
Choose carefully as I always say to my kids, Spanner, Gandalf and Frogspawn.
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