Baby-Queen

A friend sent me this today - you'll need sound to fully appreciate!

Midwife Crisis pt II - Midwife Strikes Back

So the news this week is that we've had our SECOND mid-wife appointment. Mixed feelings really. As you may recall, last time we visited the mid-wife it turns out that not only did firstimegirl need to have a needle stuck into her arm and blood taken - but I needed to as well. This was to help find a potential blood disorder assosiated with people from a mixed race, thalassaemia. I can only say, my pain was in vain.

Im not a big fan of needles (who is?) so I didnt see the funny side when the midwife, whilst sniggering, explained that I neednt have had the test after all as firsttimegirls tests proved negative. Meaning that even if my tests had been returned positive for thalassemia then it wouldnt have mattered anyway. Raising my head for support I then discovered them both wetting themselves laughing.

So firsttimegirl goes through the numerous questions that needs to be answered at these sessions, urine samples, blood pressure etc. yawn yawn... and then out of nowhere the midwife asks if we want to hear the baby - she's going to listen for a heartbeat!

Out comes a listening device with a sort of speaker/amplifier thing attached to it. 15 minutes later after only hearing the sounds of firsttimegirl wetting herself laughing (...again!) we managed to pick up a little hearbeat. magical. We didnt want it to end.. What a great little device. I want one!! So I did as all people would do in this situation; I looked on ebay. and to my astonishment, they're actually selling them! Theyre called a 'portable ultra-sound doppler' and you can pick one up for £60.

I was intrigued to see what else are they're selling on there so typed in the words, 'baby' and 'scan'.

Theres only someone on there selling their scan photos

What on earth would someone want to buy someone elses scan for?!! Aparently its a photo at 20 weeks and, "it looks like a baby driving a car" Need I say more? There wasnt a photo on the site, but can only imagine it looks something like this:

"if you squint your eyes you can see the steering wheel of a car"

Daddy-Cool

“…then of course come the Bratz dolls and Mcfly cds…”

My work colleague growled to me as he recalled the amount of money he’s spent on his kids throughout the years. ‘Bratz’ dolls are apparently the new Barbie and Mcfly (although I’ve seen them briefly on top of the pops for about 5seconds before instantly switching ‘that nonsense’ over) are the new Busted who were the new Take That? Im not sure they were the new Take That but I wanted to get to safety ground before I realize that I’m more than 3 artists removed from a band I can recognize a tune of.

I’m sure that most people go through this thought process when approaching the birth of their first child, but it kinda got me thinking about the kind of world that we’re going to be bringing our child into. And just as importantly - whether I should position myself as a ‘cool-dad’. Sure, I’ll still have youth on my side but already I’ve started to grumble at all the needless gadgets that come with a mobile phone and firing off at anyone who even dares to call me 'm8' in a text or email.

And then I started thinking about what sort of things my child will take for granted, for example; they will not know of a world without the internet, mobile phones or ipods. He or she will never be a more than a mile away from a McDonalds. And whereas I was learning about World War II, Winston Churchill and Harold Wilson in my History lessons, my child will be learning about the Miners Stike, attacks on the Twin-Towers & Margaret Thatcher. This is history I’ve lived through.

But from now on it’s the new me (or the old me?) - I’m ready to start embracing this new wave of technology and music in preparation of being ‘cool-dad’ -although I’m not sure about the combat trousers just yet. I’ve already ordered my copy of the Busted album from Amazon and plan to upgrade my mobile phone at the weekend. So I’ll be in with the ‘in-crowd’ before you know it. Don’t be a square m8.

take that to busted in 3 moves

Scan-Tastic!!

Today we saw our baby.

Pregnancy is full of cliches that make you squirm when youre an outsider looking in. Right from the moment that the luvvy-duvvy-happy couple first announce that "we're" pregnant. Or their non-commital answers to all of your questions that normally precede with a loving glance at each other, then down to the glowing bump. "We're not bothered what it is as long as its healthy" etc, etc. Pass me the bucket.

I always thought that I would have a different approach to pregnancy. Something of an honest dad-to-be. None of this, "as long as its healthy nonsense" more like, "as long as its a boy". And in all fairness, thats how it started. That was until today. Today was the day of our scan.

Firsttimegirl was feeling a bit anxious about today, I on the other hand with my cavalier, no-no-nonsense approach to pregnancy was more curious/excited than anything. "What can go wrong? Everything will be fine" etc, etc. I knew it was important to see whether our babys vital organs were intact, and indeed whether there are limbs where limbs are supposed to be. Short of that, I didnt see what all the fuss about.

So we entered the maternity ward of the hospital and after seeing the receptionist, we sat down in the waiting room surrounded by women with bumps, and their partners with one arm around them and the other hand on the bump. Both parents-to-be with cheshire cat stlye grins from ear to ear. Oh dear.

To cut a long story short; we were called in, sat down, sign this, whatever, do that, move over there, heres some cold jelly on the belly, this might be cold, oh my god its cold, look at the screen.

And there was my child.

Not only was this my child but from what I could see; it was only yawning and doing somersaults!

I was reduced to a mumbling reck, I couldnt muster the simplest of sentences. I cried. It was simply the most emotional experience I've ever had. (although theres more to come so Im told). So todays experience raised the stakes. Now we have something visible to work towards, and im sorry to say - when someone asked if we knew what sex the baby was, we glanced across at each other, I placed one arm around her, the other on her stomach and uttered the immortal words, "we're not bothered, as long as its healthy..."

boys will be boys